28 Reasons To Never, Ever Visit West Lothian

1. For some reason, people actually choose to live in West Lothian.

Geo246 / Getty Images

Blackness in twilight.

2. Haven’t they heard that it’s the worst place in Scotland?

Geo246 / Getty Images

The Knock viewpoint at dawn.

3. I mean look at it – it’s a depressing, boring dump.

Flickr: 50826080@N00 / Creative Commons

Morning mist on the River Calder.

4. There are no interesting, historic sights to see.

William Mckelvie / Getty Images

Linlithgow Palace.

5. In fact, you won’t find anything remotely iconic in West Lothian at all.

Sakhanphotography / Getty Images

The Forth Bridge seen from South Queensferry.

6. And if you want fascinating ancient sites, you should go to Orkney or something.

en.wikipedia.org / Creative Commons

Cairnpapple Hill burial mound near Bathgate.

7. You won’t find anywhere quaint or pretty to eat in West Lothian.

Facebook: champanyinn

Champany Inn, Linlithgow.

8. And even if you do find somewhere, there won’t be anything decent on the menu.

Facebook: terracerestaurantwestlothiancollege

Stuffed ballottine of chicken with butternut squash mash and pea purée at The Terrace Restaurant in Livingston.

9. And you’re shit out of luck if you want a pudding, too.

artisancheesecakes.com

Milk chocolate and raspberry marshmallow cheesecake from Artisan Cheesecakes in Bathgate.

10. Wildlife? You must be having a laugh.

Scottish Viewpoint / Alamy Stock Photo

Red deer in Beecraigs Country Park.

11. There’s nothing wild or unspoilt about West Lothian.

Geo246 / Getty Images

A sunbathing heron on the River Almond.

12. Art? Culture? Ha, there’s definitely none of that either.

jupiterartland.org

Jupiter Artland sculpture park, Wilkieston.

13. There are no pretty walks to take at all.

Geo246 / Getty Images

Binny Craig, Uphall.

14. And the towns are all ugly, new-build housing estates.

Elxeneize / Getty Images

High Street, South Queensferry.

15. Plus it’s full of scary, unfriendly gangs.

fivesisterszoo.co.uk

Ring-tailed lemurs at Five Sisters Zoo.

16. Spring in West Lothian is a downright ugly disaster.

visitscotland.com

Beecraigs Country Park.

17. Summer is beyond a joke.

Flickr: hagdorned / Creative Commons

The Forth Belle with South Queensferry in the background.

18. Autumn is seriously dreadful and bleak.

en.wikipedia.org / Creative Commons

Dechmont Law in Livingston.

19. And it looks like total crap in winter.

Flickr: andrew_girvan / Creative Commons

The Pentlands from East Cairn Hill.

20. If you’re looking for interesting places to visit in West Lothian, don’t bother.

Flickr: pipsroadster / Creative Commons

The House of the Binns.

21. Everyone knows that West Lothian is boring as hell.

visitscotland.com

Slide at The Scottish Owl Centre.

22. You find pretty castles in the Highlands. Not here.

Douglas Mcgilviray / Getty Images

Blackness Castle.

23. And you won’t find any stunning, palatial stately homes either.

Flickr: ipohkia / Creative Commons

Hopetoun House.

24. Or any enchanting woodland glades.

Almondell and Calderwood Country Park.

25. It’s all just a built up, ugly suburb of Edinburgh, basically.

Bermrunner / Getty Images

Fields near Wilkieston.

26. There’s honestly nothing at all to recommend it.

Peter_macdonald / Getty Images

Linlithgow Loch.

27. You definitely shouldn’t hop on a train and visit next weekend.

Chee Seong Foo / Getty Images

Rapeseed field near Kirknewton.

28. Seriously, just stay away.

Thinkstock

Hogmanay celebrations in South Queensferry.