Recent
advances in technology have made it easier to cultivate multiple
relationships. Back in the day, all you had was a land line and that
extra apartment near work to help coordinate your numerous liaisons.
With texting, email, Snapchat, and every other tech medium available,
you can now multi-task your flirtations and dalliances. There are even
dating websites that will help you arrange an illicit affair.
Just as the forward march of technology has enabled you to be a better scumbag, modern advancements have also made it easier for your girl to catch you red-handed. Any amateur cheat knows how to delete text messages and incriminating photos, but there are ways that you can get caught with your e-pants down that you didn't even know about. Don't let her sleuthing skills take you bu surprise. Here are 10 Surprising Ways She Can Use Technology to Catch You Cheating.
Just as the forward march of technology has enabled you to be a better scumbag, modern advancements have also made it easier for your girl to catch you red-handed. Any amateur cheat knows how to delete text messages and incriminating photos, but there are ways that you can get caught with your e-pants down that you didn't even know about. Don't let her sleuthing skills take you bu surprise. Here are 10 Surprising Ways She Can Use Technology to Catch You Cheating.
10. Night Recorder
Perhaps
your girl is absent-minded, and that's why she keeps leaving her phone
in your car and at your crib. Just be aware that she might have more
duplicitous designs. Unlike many recording apps, Night Recorder
will work in stand-by mode. The app is meant to record sounds that you
make in your sleep like snoring and teeth-grinding. There may be other
night sounds that aren't exactly made while sleeping, and this app is
going to pick those up too. The sounds are outputted to small,
convenient audio files perfect for saving until the end of divorce
proceedings (or dramatic breakups).
Whatever you say (or moan) can and will be used against you in the court of your girl.
Whatever you say (or moan) can and will be used against you in the court of your girl.
9. Contact Spy
We
all know rule number one of sneaking around is you never put your
mistress's contact in your phone. If you're real slick, you'll put the
other woman's number in your address book under a different name. When
she calls, you can play it off as a work thing or a wrong number. With
the Android and iPhone app Contact Spy, if
your lady catches that "work number" hitting you up six times on a
Friday night, she can plug it into her phone and quickly learn that it
wasn't Steve from accounting calling after all.
8. App History
Just
like your browser has a history, so do many apps. From Google Maps to
Urban Spoon, apps try to be helpful and save prior information. Just
because your history is erased from your browser doesn't mean she can't
see that you've been to a strange apartment or the bar across town four
times this week. If she wants to blow up your spot, there's an app for
that. Don't just cover your tracks once: cover them a few times over.
7. Online Reviews
We
hope that most of our readers aren't absent-minded enough to fall for
this one, but it bears mentioning. For all of you Yelp-aholics out
there, don't review restaurants you go to when you're up to no good. We
now live in a culture where we review everything. If you are reviewing
restaurants, weighing in on new movies, or airing your thoughts on
Amazon products, remember if any of those things were supposed to be a
secret. How hard would it be for your lady to stumble across a review of
a romantic movie you watched with someone else? Oh, you're the mayor of
that spot across town on Foursquare? Well, Your Honor, what the hell
were you doing across town? You checked in at this restaurant six times?
Funny, she doesn't remember ever going there.
6. Photostream
The
Cloud is a wonderful thing. The only problem is that people don't
really understand how it works. Imagine the Cloud as a hard drive in the
sky. If you put a photo in there and you delete it from your computer,
it is probably still in there. Photostream takes cloud storage to the
next level by not only storing the photo in the ether, but also pushing
it to your other iPads, Macs, and iPhones. Your girl may suddenly have a
half-dozen opportunities to stumble upon that topless selfie that your
new friend sent you. Just because you deleted it in one place doesn't
mean that it's gone.
5. Budget Apps
We
have all heard stories about joint bank statements ruining
relationships. It's hard to explain that $1000 bill from Cartier if your
girl's wrist is ice-free. Now that there are so many ways to manage
your money, there are new ways for your wallet to come back to haunt
you. Useful apps like Mint will send you alerts that say things like, "You have spent $500 on restaurants this month." If your girl sees that while you're both at the crib eating Papa Johns and watching Duck Dynasty, things might get ugly fast.
4. Auto-complete
One
of the most useful features on the Internet is auto-complete. Start
typing in a search term, an email, or a name on Facebook, and the
computer is going to guess what you're looking for based on what you've
searched before. We've all seen how this can be a problem. Who hasn't
had a friend stumble upon perverse sexual maneuvers or strange porn
subgenres in your search history? If your girlfriend pops the first name
of your cute new co-worker into your Gmail, she may be able to see all
the e-mails youv'e sent back and forth, even if they are in the trash.
Simply clearing your search history won't be enough. You've got to
manage your email, social media, and your browser, because if your girl
happens to search the right first letter, you could quickly find
yourself searching for a new apartment.
3. Webcam Remote Access
Many
people think that remotely activating a web cam is some sort of
high-tech maneuver. It isn't. Nanny Cams, basic home security tools, and
even productivity programs like GoToMyPC can be used to spy on you with
your own gear. If your girl has been around your computer, she may have
had the opportunity to set up her own little surveillance system. If
you're suspicious, unplug or cover up that camera, or take the action
into the kitchen, away from digital recording devices.
Do yourself a favor and make sure that the only camera in the bedroom is being operated by you.
Do yourself a favor and make sure that the only camera in the bedroom is being operated by you.
2. Find My iPhone
"Find
My iPhone" is a great way for you to see where the person who stole
your phone is using your phone, and then realize that there's nothing
you can do about it. "Yes, hello officer. My phone is at the Burger King
on Broadway. Can you search everyone there and see if they have my
phone?" The only real use for this iCloud app is locating your phone
after it has fell between your couch cushions.
Your girlfriend might have a use for the app though. If you've ever used your iTunes account on your her phone to download a song, she might have access to your iCloud account. When you leave her spot and go see Christine, she'll watch your no-good-cheating ass, represented as a blue orb, travel to Christine's crib in real time.
It will soon be time to "Find a New Relationship."
Your girlfriend might have a use for the app though. If you've ever used your iTunes account on your her phone to download a song, she might have access to your iCloud account. When you leave her spot and go see Christine, she'll watch your no-good-cheating ass, represented as a blue orb, travel to Christine's crib in real time.
It will soon be time to "Find a New Relationship."
1. Spying Software
You
probably knew that there are plenty of spying technologies out there,
but did you know just how intrusive they can be at an incredibly low
cost? If your girl installs SpyPal
on your PC, she'll be able to access your Facebook and email
history, log microphone sounds, and even collect screenshots from your
machine. Mobistealth
will give her the same power over your smartphone. Both products can be
had for less than $100, and are just two examples from this large and
fast-growing field.
The bottom-line: If your girl wants to get dirt on you, she can. Honesty is probably the best policy, unless you want to find yourself in a espionage arms race with your partner.
Brenden Gallagher is a freelance writer and filmmaker in Los Angeles. He writes about television and whatever else seems interesting for Complex.
The bottom-line: If your girl wants to get dirt on you, she can. Honesty is probably the best policy, unless you want to find yourself in a espionage arms race with your partner.
Brenden Gallagher is a freelance writer and filmmaker in Los Angeles. He writes about television and whatever else seems interesting for Complex.
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